Basic Investigation Skills Tutorial No. 1
by Frank Riccobono
How to Read the Last Message Written on a Memo Pad
- Observe the indentations made by the pen of the writer on the top sheet of the pad.
- Grab yourself a pencil with a soft lead.
- On a separate piece of paper, sketch out a design for a rudimentary time machine.
- Devote years and vast sums of money to the realization of your design.
- When the machine is fully operational, set your temporal coordinates based on your initial observations of the memo pad.
- Journey to the past, being careful not to cause any alterations to history.
- Read the note before it is torn from the memo pad.
- See that it was a note from your wife to buy eggs on your way home from work.
- Realize that you never bought those eggs and to do so now would cause a disastrous paradox.
- Return to the future (i.e. your relative present).
- Remember to buy eggs on your way home from the lab.
- Forget that your wife left you years ago due to your slavish devotion to this research project.
- Weep when confronted with the reality of your own hubris.