Stuff I Wrote

These are a few things I've written when I was feeling creative. Hope you enjoy them. The items followed by red bullseyes are skits I wrote for my college sketch comedy and improv group, Off Center. Anything followed by a music note is meant to be put to music.

Julius Caesar

Shakespeare's famous tragedy in the style of "Eleanor Rigby" by the Beatles.

A Programmer's Journey

This is the story of how I first got started programming and some of the milestones that lead me where I am today. It may be a bit too self-indulgent and dripping with nostalgia, but after listening to a bunch of other programmers share their stories, I wanted to get as many of the details written down now, while they're still somewhat fresh. Some of the earlier details are already pretty fuzzy.

Online Ballots

Advances in tabroom technology have allowed speech and debate tournaments to switch to online ballots. Knowing that, you may be wondering what it is the tournament staff does at tournaments in this brave new world. Allow me to tell you in the style of ABBA / Mamma Mia.

Westeros Coffee in a Cardboard Cup

Now, I'll be the first to admit that even my keen prop-master eyes did not notice the now-infamous coffee cup in halls of Winterfell last night. That said, those at the intersection of Game of Thrones and Musical Theater fans may appreciate this little ditty by way of Kander and Ebb

Summer of D&D

In the style of Bryan Adams, with a slightly more positive ending.

Basic Investigation Skills Tutorial No. 4

How to interrogate a suspect using the modified Reid technique.


In the style of "This is Halloween" from the Nightmare Before Christmas in honor of the speech tournament we have each year around Halloween time.

Here Comes The Manticore

This was inspired by an episode of one of my favorite podcasts (Join The Party) after they did a D&D session set in an opera in which a manticore featured prominently. This is a silly tribute to the tune of “La donna è mobile”.

My Fair Dragon - Why Can't the Dragons?

In response to the prompt, *If you added or replaced the word 'dragon' in the title of a story, what would the resulting plot and title become?*, one of the commenters suggested My Fair Dragon, "pompous professor Henry Higgins attempts to transform a dragon into someone who can pass for a cultured member of high society." Well, I read that and my mind went here...

Charlie at the NSDA

At the suggestion of his coach, I wrote these alternate lyrics to The Kingston Trio’s “Charlie on the MTA” to celebrate her student's (i.e. Charlie) second time in finals of student congress at the 2018 National Speech and Debate Association (NSDA) National Tournament held in Ft. Lauderdale, FL.

Fight the Dragon (or The NPC's Lament)

When your characters become genre-savvy.

Postively, Mister Zuckerberg? Absolutely Mr. Page

Larry Page encounters Mark Zuckerberg after his senate testimony (in the style of the old Vaudeville act, Gallagher and Shean).

Basic Investigation Skills Tutorial No. 3

How to Tail a Suspect without Being Seen

Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Zombies of 1812

Inspired by my favorite broadway musical of 2016-2017 and a Facebook post from my playwright friend, Duncan Pflaster.

Basic Investigation Skills Tutorial No. 2

How to Take Fingerprints

Basic Investigation Skills Tutorial No. 1

How to Read the Last Message Written on a Memo Pad


How I transformed all the merfolk into strikingly beautiful, but also incredibly dangerous eel-creatures using a centuries-old spell

Outskirts of the Desert

The other night, I dreamed that I was bicycling from New Jersey to Nevada.

The Tabroom Staff


They want to know what speech is


Morning Commute


The Modern Web Designer Song

With apologies to Messrs. Gilbert and Sullivan



We Need A Little Speech Meet

A short forensics-themed Christmas carol to the tune of the Johnny Mathis version of "We Need a Little Christmas" in honor of the annual Holly Speech Festival in Natick, MA.

Stevens Monster Hunters

This is a short story / monologue I wrote loosely inspired by the recent five-year plan my alma mater has embarked on.

The 35th Annual Villiger Speech Tournament

On November 21-23, 2014, St. Joseph's University in Philadelphia, PA held the 35th Annual Villiger Invitational Forensics (speech and debate) tournament. Now, 'thirty-fifth' sounds a lot like 'twenty-fifth' so...

Lost Love

A short, wistful love story. I'm not sure where this writing voice came from. I hope to be able to revisit it some day.

Castle Point Lane

A tribute to the unexpected creativity you find at an engineering school in the style of The Beatles "Penny Lane".

Lamentations of a Unicorn Scorned

Sometimes all you need is a title to get started. We were in a brainstorming meeting for our sketch comedy group, and someone wrote this phrase on the whiteboard just before leaving for another club meeting. I knew right away I had to write it. This is meant to have the feel of a liturgical chant. Be warned, as you might guess from the title, it gets somewhat depressing.

Inventing the Alphabet

I know that pre-historic man probably didn't write in English, but who knows?


An important lesson about programming in C.

Ski Shop Caper

Criminals need to buy their ski masks from somewhere...

The Map Thief

In college, I met someone with a stolen NYC subway map on his apartment wall. I started thinking, what sort of person steals a map?

Sleep for the Sleepless

An advertisement for a charity with the best interests of college students in mind. Imagine Sarah McLachlan's music playing in the background while you read this.

Rhyme Troubles

Just a quick limerick.

The Magic Umbrella

When your piano teacher lets you borrow his yellow umbrella one day when it suddently starts raining after your lesson and your brain is in creative mode after making music for an hour, something like this might happen.

History Lesson

Title says it all. A very important fact about Greek history.

Zombie Love Song

In the Summer of 2009, near the beginning of the Twilight movie craze, I read an article predicting that Zombies would most likely be the next traditional horror monster to be romanticized. Naturally, I wanted to be ahead of the trend.

Liars Anonymous

I cannot tell a lie - the idea for this skit came from three randomly selected cards from an improv card game.

Locked Out

Inspired by true events and Arthurian legend - that is to say one year I had a bad habit of accidentally locking myself out of my dorm room. Also my dorm at the time, Castle Point Appartments (CPA), had its entrance on the third floor with a bridge connecting it to the street.

Know The Feeling?

Do you ever see someone and think that you know them...but you're not quite sure?

Generic Infomercial

If you've seen one, you've seem 'em all.

The Detective

I wrote this skit for Leslie Nielsen (not that I ever met him or gave it to him...I just had him in mind when I wrote it).

Monolingual Americans Ski Monkeys

This is the version of my senior year Originl Oratory speech as performed at the 2006 National Forensics League national tournament in Dallas, TX.

The Experiment

A short story I wrote in high school one night when I couldn't sleep.

Enough Is Enuf

This is the version of my junior year Originl Oratory speech mostly as performed at the 2005 National Forensics League national tournament in Philadelphia, PA. It ended up being a bit too long for the 10 minute time limit so there were some late cuts and edits that never made their way into softcopy.

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This work by Frank Riccobono is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.