The Modern Web Designer Song

by Frank Riccobono

With apologies to Messrs. Gilbert and Sullivan

I am the very model of a modern web designer, oh
I've information typographic, artsy, and things finer, oh
I know the Bootstrap classes and I quote their names semantical
From col-md-10 to btn-red with fervor so pedantical;
I'm very well acquainted too with animations CSS,
I know this carousel will be the secret to your site's success,
About the browser differences, I'm teeming with a lot of facts,
On how to build your single page in perfect scrolling parallax.

I'm very good with mobile-first and skeumorphic, flat design,
I know the fonts to separate your content from your main headline
In short, in matters typographic, artsy, and things finer, oh
I am the very model of a modern web designer...oh.

I know our grisly history from table-based to nested divs,
And 90s GeoCities sites with many animated GIFs;
I quickly point out all the flaws in every published Wordpress theme,
In palettes, I can recommend a most peculiar color scheme.
I can tell undoubted Arials from Veras and Helvetical,
I recognize bad kerning and improper rhythm vertical!
Then I can clone a typeface when I've seen its letters' strokes afore,
And criticize decisions, which the average, clueless blokes ignore.

Then I can write a style guide for each responsive element,
And tell you every margin, padding, weight, and color's complement;
In short in matters typographic, artsy, and things finer, oh
I am the very model of a modern web designer#oh.

In fact, when I know what is meant by "alpha" and "opacity",
When I can tell at sight a flexbox stretched to its capacity,
When such techniques as wireframes I employ with great facility,
And when I know precisely how to break accessibility,
When I have understood a blog post on how SVG is clipped
When I know more of line-height than the engineer whose code we shipped
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental Javascript
You'll say no better web designer ever had such skills equipped

For my HTML knowledge, though in keeping with the status quo,
Has only been instilled in me through hours on StackOverflow.
But still, in matters typographic, artsy, and things finer, oh
I am the very model of a modern web designer...oh

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This work by Frank Riccobono is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.